Urban Myth #3: the feral urban foxes of Chelsea
A feral urban urban fox (c) The Telegraph
Piers Currie, 14 April 2020
When I was young, there was a story of albino alligators in New York City that apparently crawled up the sewage system and surprised visitors in bathrooms. It’s an alarming tale, as clearly sitting in the most private of rooms entertains a possibility of unwelcome surprise when least expected.
These creatures were allegedly albino because they had been bought at local pet shops when very small and flushed away when owners found them boring or got bigger to feed, so they grew “below” (like “outside” today) but like salmon returned unspotted upstream to their point of origin, when they got all big and curious.
Like all good urban myths, there is a whiff of plausible truth in the underlying narrative. The alligators are albino white, apparently as they never see daylight. The budgerigars that live in London parks have similar half-truths, allegedly the descendants of a pop star Jimi Hendrix, who released them in the wild Badlands of Hampstead Heath in the drug-hazed days of the 1960s.
I bring you our latest, most savoury and delightful new mythic tale in corona season. As we can’t tell “outside”, we rely on dog walkers and the sleepless to confirm it.
My friend was walking her dog by Ranelagh Park in Chelsea, distancing as one does - and the urban foxes, skinnier than usual, spotted her pooch, I think a labradoodle, with renewed interest for engagement. Herbie the dog expressed some quiet twitches of concern, pulled on his lead, but alerted his mistress’ attention to fresh danger.
It is entirely possible that wild animals have not developed the reading skills expected of them in these difficult times. Animals can find basic literacy difficult, even warning signs at road crossings, let alone the “stay at home” materials that fill, nay over-spill, letterboxes of the #fledtothecountry empty houses in SW3.
The foxes, also seagulls of the area would wish to make their point known. Their evening dustbin supplies of nutrition outside the finest restaurants in the locale are long closed and empty. Denied their natural cuisine, warm pasta surpluses and filet mignon, they are exploring other avenues. “Outside” is their bailiwick, and in the absence of an integrated community at play, they will discover their own new playground, like abandoned schools with no teachers.
We salute the foxes, budgies and alligators of urban myth.
We admire them, but caution stroking them and sentimentalising them. They bite when hungry and Herbie the dog is right to be cautious. He’s read the warnings or at least been verbally briefed.
London visitors to the country, especially Scotland, are politely requested to leave wild pets at home; they graciously welcome those from London, now considered a veritable plague pit anyway, but would prefer the foxes stay behind. Bringing the virus in 4X4s at week-ends is exhausting enough.